This is the verbatim text from a college Web site under a header that says, "What is it that sets [name of university] apart?" (Name changed to protect the guilty!)

"Simply put, it is our tradition of academic excellence, our distinctive liberal arts curriculum, the individual attention we give our students and our welcoming and engaged community.

We pride ourselves on having students with multiple talents and interests, faculty with a passion for teaching and scholarship, caring staff members who take great pride in what they do, and successful alumni across the nation and around the world.

In the finest tradition of the liberal arts, we appeal to those who are intellectually passionate, creative, and curious about life. We encourage excellence and we support our students' pursuit of multiple interests in ways that are most meaningful to them."

Umm......raise your hand if this describes your institution?  Raise your other hand if you have something like this on your Web site. Both hands in the air?  If I were there, I would tickle you under the arms. And, that would be the only thing we could laugh about.